The Logical Next Step For the August 7 Lunar Eclipse

I remember my first private acupuncture session with my acupuncturist Susan. During the treatment, I had been laid out on the table, taking everything in. It was so perfect. It was like being under a blanket for stars, made to look at my life from an angle that was bigger than life itself. I felt I was floating. I felt I had found my ‘thing.’

Having suffered from debilitating migraines every other day, this was a peaceful and totally new experience that was welcoming to my body while also making me question everything I had done or felt up unto this point as I pondered how I could get into this career.

I got up from the treatment, paid and said goodbye and descended into the street. I was floating. It was a really hot day out.

I got in my car and started to drive home. I’ll never forget this either. I looked with my eyes at the other cars and other people and other things happening around me like I had just arrived from some far off place not knowing who I was. Cars in traffic crunching together and then breaking loose and flowing again and over and over, watching it all happen in slow motion.

I went in for a first treatment and left an acupuncturist as pieces of my life seemed to simultaneously crumble apart by stitching together, at the thought of this new career…

The radio was still turned off. The August heat that had been trapped in my car was enveloping and actually felt good on my skin. I began to think more than one thought in succession again except this time, per Susan’s advice, all were in reference to my body. I thought a thought. Then I moved my neck around and felt that residual spawn of energy at the nape of my neck where the pins had been inserted. I thought another thought of “Wow.” I thought about Susan’s life and her routine, running her own schedule, having her beautiful office space, doing meaningful work, being kinda a witch and kinda a doctor.

At the traffic light I sat there thinking, “Here I am – sitting here in this car. How lost I do feel, how much my life is in disarray and here I am knowing for myself that my life is forever changed. Remember this, Lindsay. Remember this and call the time.  This moment will be part of your story. You know how to change your life and you are starting this now.” What an incredibly ordinary moment to feel something so incredible amidst chaos and pain. Isn’t this how life goes? How career changes, divorce, baby-birthing and these kinds of waves? Death, new life, momentous change?

I had so far to go. I had so much to heal. Breathing in, I would go to my grave still contemplating this significance of the feeling I was experiencing – calling this time to enroll in acupuncture school. The wheels of my life had stopped spinning and were now spinning in a different way, pouring waves of conflicting and exhilarating feelings.

The value of this journey started with both the sorrow and the gratitude of this personal discovery, just going off the feeling itself and not saying what it should be like or how it should be. A deep wave of grace was caving into me. A present moment of gratitude and inspiration with my mind’s naming and shaming of why this hadn’t happened sooner or searching for where I got off track, who or what had gotten in the way.

I decided not to listen too much to that voice in my head. Instead, I went home. From then on, in a humble way, I went about cutting my losses so I could prepare with excitement and anticipation for my new path, enrolling in acupuncture school and getting more and more acupuncture for myself. Before yoga, it was acupuncture.

I bring this up because we are at a lunar eclipse today. This eclipse in this month of August is going to affect the trajectory of our life for the next six months to February, and the next level of our life’s journey. We need to let go of as much as possible that is not feeding our soul and our joy in order to usher in what greatness is in store.

This is also part of an eclipse season. So the changes we are making echo an astrological push, with revelation, and massive life change.

I bring up my first session in acupuncture because it is this level of change that we will be experiencing things. Remember this time. Call yourself by your first name.

On the one hand we have a devastating reality check of the old ways, old dreams of ourselves dashed against the rocks. Explosions and disruptions of whatever plans we sought and tried to make. Of who we thought we were (thinking we have this definition and plans are this finite thing).

On the other hand the gates of life are opening up to us the actual realization of our higher selves and our ultimate goals behind our intentions that we could never have planned for or guessed would come to the fore. This is an opportunity here. We are making a major connection point to our life purpose and the truth in our hearts of what we always “knew” all along.

This is a major completion and letting go (full moon themes) and a cornerstone or turning point for our career, our relationship, our health, the new community or support system that has been building over the past few months, and the deepening of our core values. Really, we are stepping into a whole new wisdom which is coming through at this time around who we are and where we are headed. We can’t go back to where we were because we are already being shown something bigger, better. We just have to accept the new ways we are being pushed forward despite all the work it took to get where we thought we needed to go or where we thought we were headed.

There are a lot of things that didn’t work out, or didn’t go to plan. This is a time to surrender to the lessons. We knew this all along. Nothing we have done, invested, or accomplished up to this point is a waste. All of our problems are understood, are natural, and have been placed here to be an integral part of our story. Live the story. Live it to tell it.

For now we are being given a gift. Accept whatever setbacks and reality checks as gifts and to move forward with the new plan that has been coming around with more and more signs since the spring, that’s telling you this is where you take you’re next step. Trust and take that next step.

This fall is a time for all of us to really go forward with the lessons and the personal disappointments. We have more available to succeed than we ever have before thanks to these experiences, and it’s time to integrate, transmute and take the stance that today is marking a major turning point of our new bright future.

Dust yourself off, and become one of the stars of your own life, in the story of the planets and moons. Happy Lunar Eclipse!!!

Acupuncture With A Side of Fried Chicken

I don’t eat fried chicken but I work at a place for fried chicken. The food will always be “Good.” “Amazing.” I say “You’ll love it” to people. Because they will love it. I tried the fried chicken once and it was amazing, and then I had diarrhea and migraines for days. I had to get to acupuncture pronto to help my gut. That, ginger root, and exercise helped it get totally better. And I will still sell both of those things to people touting their goodness for the right reasons.

Granted bar food is so easy to sell. “You’re here for the delicious bar food, right? Do you like grease? Spice? Drinks and beer cheese fries? Doing something totally indulgent? Sweet. Welcome and let me help you get you set up.”

I want to make selling acupuncture this easy. People walking into my clinic knowing what they wanna get, looking forward to the final product, and money is already on the table.

~ ~ ~

 

Since March I took this job at Crisp Restaurant + Bar in Shaw neighborhood of DC, a fast-changing part of D.C., with a lot of cute neighborhood digs.

The restaurant, on 1st and Rhode Island, best known for their hot chicken, a fried specialty, and classic southern-cooked sides such as mac n cheese (super cheesy), collard greens, french fries, banana pudding, and the famous craft cocktail like an Old Fashioned…

Though this chicken joint is ‘not me’ – it IS me.

As an acupuncturist I have been thinking the thoughts of WHO AM I if I eat gluten, or love cheesy mac n cheese, drink soda when I eat out, or have a few bottomless mimosas too many like these other customers are doing.

Where others drop their money on a six pack or some fried chicken, I will drop any amount of money on the right dairy-free milk, the right sugar-free kimchi, or the right gluten-free granola. Definitely I am a bit of a holistic fanatic.  If it’s natural and botanical, spiritual or transformational, high vibrating, food, supplements, or access to higher knowledge, I will pay top dollar. For example I will spend the extra $4 on a juice with juiced parsley in it because I know parsley helps eliminate mercury and free radical levels from the system.

Of course being well versed in the realms of healing, using holistic methods of healing (acupuncture, nutrition, rest, water, breathing exercises, chakra meditations, natural herbs or supplements, journaling, yoga what have you) is my job and I should invest in these things. It’s good to have high health standards so I can teach my patients. I coach people to solve their health concerns sustainably and holistically, helping to move their chi based on how cultivated I am in the cultivation and movement of my own chi.

I had a lot of fears going into a new service job (never mind that I had worked on a coffee bus on Hawaii). What would people think of me as a healer/health conscious person? Would I look less like an acupuncturist? Would I get ostracized or bullied by people at work for being ‘too holistic’? Would I fall back into some old habits (drinking, smoking, not sleeping enough, not exercising enough, whatever) that would negatively impact or compromise my health in some way? Would I pick up some bad friendships or bad vibes dealing with people or would I get along with everyone? And the bigger question for my career, how would I be in bigger and bigger environments around more and more people and still maintain healing presence and a sense of vitality to be able to heal? I ask these questions for myself and for many other practitioners of healing arts or who feel a calling to take holistic measures in their lives but also have to be out in the world interacting with many different businesses, working otherwise for yourself and paying all the bills.

I have been able to make this experience work for me despite my past experiences in bars, in the nightlife lifestyle, which is bringing up past times I was bullied (really!) for having food intolerances or wanting to go to bed early, dealing with bad vibes, and getting myself into trouble. I had shut myself off and distanced myself a lot from what represented to me these oppositional forces. I’ve adopted that I just need to be in the moment with my experience. (Isn’t that always the answer?)

I can now love and accept the irony here. Doing something I want to do that is the opposite of what people expect is part of a soul expansion I am doing- something my soul needs to explore and learn from and grow from for reasons that are mysterious. (This is in fact the hallmark sign of soul work).

 

And I’ll close with a story that I feel is related, learning not to take yourself too seriously making life out to be so linear or absolute…that healing is neither linear or absolute:

In the car on the way home from a retreat with my acupuncture class, I told a friend a bit too preemptively, and a bit too boldly (I was a little grumpy at the time) that she, a recovering alcoholic going to meeting Alcoholics Anonymous, would one day find herself  years from now able to have a drink without calling herself or labeling herself an alcoholic, or feeling the pain or guilt at any trajectory of relapse. I was being a bit of a devil’s advocate.

Of course she got really mad at me because AA was her life, her support, and her community at that point in her recovery. Duh, it was upsetting to her when so much of her life and her transition was tied to this 12-Step program (which is really an amazing resource for people struggling with addictions). I felt bad after I said it, it was not my place to say, and even in my grumpy state, it was coming from a good intention. At the time I had just finished reading Eckhart Tolle’s ‘The Power of Now’ and he made this exact point about an alcoholic in recovery.

I know it sounds kinda mean and maybe crazy, especially to people who have struggled with addiction (which, if we lived in our 20s, we all probably have). Definitely we can all agree any addiction is a brain disease (an escape, seeking comfort from the outside, seeking to change your state to avoid old unidentified patterns of pain) that takes a lot of time to heal, undoing karma with people interpersonally and reworking the structure of your life.

I wanted to leave with this above idea anyway, that there will come a day when we don’t need to identify with what we’ve been handed and the wounds we were meant to bear, the labels we have had to carry – we need the story and we need to move beyond the story. Ultimately.

And that would be freeing. Imagine how liberating that would be, if we aren’t these realities, we have already overcome what we ‘thought’ we were without even trying.  We realize we didn’t need those things to be sane anyway, everything is wrote, and we can trust ourselves exactly for who we are for now anyway.

How often do we take for granted how much we have changed that would make an outcome totally different if we truly saw ourselves for who we are Today?

It’s important to continuously let go of the past, identifying with it, letting it define who we are. We can’t let just anything in our life DEFINE us. These things of ‘WHO AM I’ of where I eat, where I work, what I do, who I connect with are not ME – IDENTIFIED. Doing that will limit where our soul needs to experience everything.

I was moved that what I felt was called for was to be a server, and I smile to myself when I think of the term ‘server.’ It’s about being humble and getting your work done and being there for people.

I decided I would trust this idea that kept repeatedly entering my mind (even before my friend who owns the place offered that I come in). I realized I like the service industry a lot. I like the people I interact with. I like the community and the camaraderie and doing business with people. The people I work with at Crisp feel like family, and each of us has our important role which feels very grounding.

I want to sell acupuncture and create community and family. I want to make holistic healthcare as accessible and wonderful as rich greasy food is to the American diet. I am learning about creating the consistency and proper nourishment for everyday people and how to serve up exactly what they want every day. Like a cold beer that could actually be good for you. 🙂

Why I’m Moving To Hawai’i

Today marks my last week on the mainland of the U.S. of A. September 6th I’m going on a one-way trip to Hawaii for an undetermined amount of time.

The reasons why I am going are very simple in my mind and in my heart. I’m ready for a new experience, I’m ready to not live in the D.C. area, and I’m ready to take my career to another level in an ocean close to Asia.

Other reasons are I’m ready to live by the ocean, I’m ready to feel confident in my body, and I’m ready to meet a new soul tribe who take their healing work very seriously.

A tertiary reason? I’m ready to get the f out of my parents house! Hah. California is out of the question right now and I’m totally bored with the East Coast.

As things have turned out in D.C., I’ve become estranged from most all of the people I considered close because I just grew out of the ways we were interacting. I’m not your typical Washingtonian. I don’t drink anymore. My ‘healing stuff’ isn’t received as interesting or relevant to most people and conversations often fall silent if they come up at all, something I find very personally frustrating.

I am stifled by the inertia of my past and broke from my acupuncture grad degree without the network or infrastructure of support like many high-level graduates, just a small mortgage to pay off and a lot of needed reform. Everything needs to change, on a micro level in my life so that I may serve, and on a macro scale for all of humanity in making acupuncture the commodity it deserves to be.

Because of all these things I can see, I can’t be the “Old Lindsay” anymore. I can’t even be Lindsay anymore. In fact, it feels more apt for me to change my name completely so people can get used to calling me, and relating to me, in a new way.  It just doesn’t feel like I’m the same person… really at all.

It’s been interesting ending this period of my life in DC noticing the illusions I kept, the people who have chosen to stay, the people who have chosen to leave, and the people I’ve asked to leave…

A funny thing I’ve encountered in this are people who outright offend or passive aggressively avoid me to better distance themselves. I hate drama, and try to avoid it when I can, but sometimes it’s inevitable, and that’s the way a lot of people cope with grief, resentment, or repressed anger. People are giving me shit just to give me shit. Just because I’m leaving…I get it. No hard feelings…It’s human nature (and probably all of us have abandonment issues of one kind or another).

Just let me go in peace. To use a metaphor by Elizabeth Gilbert, I’m the crab, crawling out of the bucket.

In fact, Now is the time of year to be letting go of a lot. Relationships that suck, people that suck, activities that suck, clutter and crap in our space, on our desks, in our computer, in our minds, all the stuff that just doesn’t matter anymore.

(I definitely recommend Marie Kando’s ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” because it helps to really see the trees from the forest in terms of what we actually need in our life. I started it in the spring and now am reading the last chapters for the penultimate purge.)

Can you feel it in the air? This end of summer? The change in light, in temperature, in mood? The best way to cope to what can be quite a difficult time for people is to LET GO and lighten the load of this year’s cycle, now in its harvest season.

Just like the peaches and melons and squashes getting large and hanging low on their vine, we too are heavy, full, and almost rotting at the fullness of the year and all that has come to fruition in our lives.

We must slow down in order to be able to digest, in order to savor, and be thoughtful about our hard work and what it has served.  And toss it out – the rotted parts at least so we can make a feast of the rest.

So as I savor what this summer has been, as weird and ‘off’ as it has felt in some regards, a stranger in the most familiar land of my home, I feel more ready than ever to leave for a new place. A place near Asia, near the ocean, where I can practice acupuncture with peace in nature. I’m switching it up.

Make Your Move:

If you’re jealous or feeling some other version of this emotion around my decision, don’t be!

Anything is possible.

Don’t leave yourself out of the good stuff in life.

Discern what is valuable, make a plan, and go on a trip.

Make a list of one-month goals, three-month goals, six-month goals, on up to five-year goals and use it as soul-fuel for your ideal lifestyle. This is a totally internal and self-exploratory process and it ignites itself when you are ready for it.

If you’re in a period in your life where you feel it’s time to let go of people, or change your career, or change your lifestyle or where you live, TRUST THOSE FEELINGS and do it for the thrill of the change and for the beauty and value of what you would learn! They are important markers you must not ignore.

Follow the way of the Tao. Don’t fight yourself, don’t resist yourself.

Get the nuts and bolts and structure in place (logistics, money, time) and then let the Universe take up the rest, lead you where you’re supposed to be.

I’m 30, I have no children and no husband. I’ve been living at home with my parents for a year with no regrets. I’ve been in therapy, I’ve excavated my dark night of the soul for every minute I was to endure it, going through the broke, broken, torn, isolated, and hungry parts of myself.

I’ve been wandering and waiting for “my time” for quite some time. I’ve been through a lot, searching for something real, and lasting, and worth living for.

The dawn is blue.  I’m waiting for my bus with my two suitcases and I’m headed for the ocean.

You can do exactly what I’m doing. Don’t be afraid of your inner voice. You will never be led astray. As my friend Jessica Sandhu said, “I’ve never regretted any investment I’ve made for myself.”

This wasn’t random or an accident. I’ve dreamed about Hawai’i since I was in fourth grade. This was tapping into Life à la carte and coming up with the menu myself.

Dream on, let yourself be, let yourself be guided, and of course, like always, I’ll see you on the other side. 🙂

Solar Eclipse In Pisces

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Today we have a solar eclipse to bring on the new moon in the sign of Pisces. As with all eclipses, these events bring radical change, unexpected endings and beginnings. Eclipses help us energetically shed the past so we can begin anew.

This solar eclipse is a unique occurrence for this 2016 year, completing events that happened last year around March 20th and September 12th of 2015.

What this means is that we are in a time of purification and letting go of our ego’s preoccupation with our past and dynamically healing the crisis of the present personally and collectively.

Right now we may be feeling a total loss of control in one or more aspects of our life. Look at what’s happening in the U.S. elections and you can easily feel this loss of control also on a collective level, and an example of ego energies unchecked and running rampant.

You may also feel more acutely aware of these injustices happening around you because they are also part of you and your healing process.

The eclipse is in Pisces. Pisces is the last sign in the zodiac calendar. It represents ongoing wisdom beyond time. It predominates the land of symbology, myth, archetype and nature of our ancestry.

This is is the human proclivity for spirituality and the occult, our capacity to have imagination, ESP, psychic revelations, and unexplainable healing events occur. Creation myths, storytelling, and ancient archetypes are are called into question with spirituality, religion, and healing.

Furthermore imagination, dreams, higher consciousness, the idealistic and spiritual qualities of life from the part of Pisces planet ruler Neptune are part of this picture.

The deep emotional empathy of our connection to each other is especially important in the sign of Pisces. Chiron, the ‘wounded healer’ planet feels this empathy, taking on the feelings of suffering from another’s experience. How can we become one our own suffering which is partly everyone else’s suffering?

Furthermore Mars in the sign of watery Scorpio during this eclipse time is taking a warrior look at the ego’s attachments trying to control. We see what we need to heal, and now with Mars in Scorpio we transcend it with intensity, strength, and relentless self-discipline.

Mars has us becoming in a sense activists of our own life, learning when to take control and when to let go to universal energies, knowing our pain coupled with our imagination can really make something of ourselves and this world.

Perhaps you are re-experiencing an aspect of a wound, or some healing revelation of a wound during this time.

For example, just last night, I had a VERY disturbing dream where someone I love attempted to rape me. The imagery and symbology I received in the dream comes at the crosshairs of my fears of power: my own power, the power/disempowerment I feel in my relationships, the power of my own womanhood as well as the collective feminine power, displayed and debated in the media and news as we celebrate Women’s Day today and the movements for women’s liberation in the Middle East and all over the world.

My dream showed me my wound, and here it is that I share it to you now for healing and how Piscean: something inherited, something personal, and something collective – received in a dream!

Pisces is about separating our desires from our ego and coming into ONENESS where nothing about our process and our experience is separate from the collective in matters of spiritual growth as well as healing the corporeal body.

So as the eclipse stirs up some old pain or we find ourselves caught yet again in the midst of our wound resurfacing — the crisis is no longer found in the occurrence and the frequency of the pain itself,  but in how we can better bring COMPASSIONATE consideration of our needs with the impersonal air it takes to uphold the ideal to the service of all.

And letting go of what we cannot control in the meantime. Feeling it, standing up for ourselves, and empowering the collective vision of the future.

As Kaypacha spoke during my research of this astral event: “We have to feel safe surrendering to the spiritual River of Life.”

Even though there’s a lot of volatile energy in the world and we can feel helpless, this eclipse is here to remind us of our own power, including that of our wounds.

Be well during this time~

L

A multiple exposure captures the 2012 solar eclipse in Queensland, Australia. Image may not be repoduced without written permission from the photographer.

#NewYearNewYou

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I’ve been thinking a lot about this hashtag since my workshop a few weeks ago with Jessica Sandhu at Georgetown Yoga.

I don’t want it to ever die! In fact it’s been a saying of mine in conversations (and no one has cut me off yet).

New Years’ Day is one of my favorite days out of the year because when you wake up, it’s a whole new date and a whole new marker period. There’s like a palpable feeling of freshness and aliveness, even in the cold weather where I live. It’s a day to start new, and when so many people are doing some version of starting over, it’s hard not to be inspired I find!

Being an entrepreneur, or even if you’re not an self-professed entrepreneur but you just want to heal and grow and keep inspired and alive inside — it’s always about finding and coming into a routine where new beginnings are the norm. A series of startups and start-overs.

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We get unlimited passes to start over, and this truth comes especially handy when it comes to living up to our highest potential.

Imagine if everyone one of us did our own work to forgive the past and wake up looking at the world with fresh eyes. We would come up with so many cool ideas, loving insights for ourselves and for others. We would treat ourselves to only the best things in life. We would take care of our body and our health in new ways. We would cross hurdles that only existed in our minds. We would radically let go, radically move into our power and purpose and radically conquer the day!!!

I want to use the #NewYearNewYou hashtag for the rest of this year because I want everyone to connect with the magic of New Years Day – EVERY day! It’s this very feeling of possibility that can be recreated over and over.

In the treatment room I coach my clients to have intention words every morning when they wake up. Some word which feels really good every time you think of or are reminded of it, and creating the world as _________ (this word).

{Love. Peace. Grace. Serenity. Strength. Abundance.}

No matter what in my presence, this situation, person, thing, will show up as _________.

Then we take back our power. The word, the feeling, the positive momentum comes from us.

Connecting to our higher self through the power of words is a very essential part of the healing process. It takes courage and persistence but is worth loads for cleaning our mental, cleaning our thoughts, our mind, and cleaning this experience we have with our outer environment because it is all connected.

The word is the world. Make it a brand new world for yourself EVERY DAY with #NewYearNewYou – the 2016 version, launched on this very website!!!

So if you want to join with me on this reinvention to take back your power and kick ass out in the world, sign up for my newsletter and bookmark this page for future posts!

XO

Lm

Letting Go

The trouble with letting go of toxic and persistent patterns is the ego’s need to be in control of various things and people coupled with not having trust in ourselves and our path.

Instead of this elaborate interplay where the mind is micromanaging a limited set of beliefs based on our past, letting go takes us to the next level where real healing, spiritual growth, and expansion take place.

When we let go, a space is created based in our present moment for us to see our true selves and how magnetic we really are. What we intend arrives very easily with no effort at all!

Withhold judgement at that, love and trust what has already been made for us. The river that carries us and is often winding!